Paying attention to body language is such a major tell on match factors and whether your potential match has what it takes to make the distance. The way you move and react can send a signal on how you’re feeling and what your intentions are. One can even say, we speak louder with our bodies than with our words.
First dates and getting to know someone is weird. Like did he or she just lean in closer to me because they want to be closer to me, or just getting closer to their plate of food? If they just mentioned their ex for the third time, does that mean they’re not over them? Here are some tell-tale body language signals to help you get some answers on the vibes.
Leaning In. This is a obvious sign they want more of you rather than less. If they jerk or angle back impulsively, they are finding some part of you threatening or aggressive. As my boyfriend would say, basically you need to *insert italian accent* take it eas. When you like someone and you’re attracted to them, you naturally crave to be closer to them. So pay attention to your physical closeness! Also, leaning in when you talk signals “I like you.”
Eye contact! Eye contact goes a really long way to show someone you’re interested. If you want your body language to be received favourably, be available. Keep your hands on the table, make eye contact and smile. This combo promotes major interest and can be an ice breaker on date jitters. When you’re walking, keep your arms uncrossed and out of your pockets because this shows that your hand is available to hold – and don’t grab their hand or go arm-in-arm unless the moment feels right because the forced awkwardness is 10x worse than nothing at all!
Distancing language. If your date is crossing their legs, or positioning themselves in the opposite direction of you with their shoulders or knees, they’re not feeling connected. They will purposly stay offset with their body and signal block. When you’re feeling connected to someone, you naturally position your body towards them or closer to them. If you want to show your date that, keep your neck and shoulders facing them. If your dates feet are pointing inward, this is a good sign! We do this to “shrink” ourselves and seem harmless, hoping to seem more approachable.
When someone is stuttering or seems “tongue-tied” chances are they are super into you and feeling a little anxious. Attraction and strong connection can make intelligent adults turn into mumbling children!
Touch has memory. Touch comes before sight, and before speech. It is the first language, and the last. It will always tell the truth.
Red Flags You Do NOT Want to See or Do on A Date
I asked my lovely friends and instagram followers to tell me their dating red flags. Here’s what some real twenty-somethings thought!
- Bringing up their ex, or bringing them up more than once.
- No eye contact (told ya!)
- Constantly on their phone
- How they treat the server/waiter
- Bragging about money
- Showing up drunk or getting too drunk
- Taking sarcasm or jokes too seriously – have a light sense of humour!
- Talking about multiple future dates on the first, maybe even second date
- How they speak about their ex – “she was so crazy and psycho” like ok, did you make her that way though?
- How they speak about their family
- Talking about themselves excessively
- No job (duh!)
- Chewing with their mouth open (Table manners are a must.)
Sounds fair enough right? Good luck out there kids!