In an era that is all about ‘female empowerment‘ we as woman, will never be truly empowered unless shame and guilt-free sexuality is in the mix. We need to be able to explore our bodies and health without the reflection of men’s desires staring back at us.

Before we get into it, a moment of silence for all the men who truly believed they gave you the best night of your life.

Contrary to popular belief, there are up to 11 types of Big O’s a woman can experience. (if not more.)

The Facts:

Only 1 quarter of women orgasm during intercourse – and it does not have to do with size, feelings, or duration.

48% of women need clitoral stimulation to achieve orgasm during intercourse.

In 2015, 67% of women have said that they have faked their orgasm. 97% of them reported that they did it to spare their partners feelings and to end sex more quickly.

The benefits of having regular orgasms will blow your mind! Better mood, better sleep, better immune system, the list goes on!

  1. Your brain gets a literal workout from orgasms.
  2. Orgasms lead to healthier hair.
  3. Orgasms can prevent breakouts.
  4. Orgasms boost tons of estrogen and collagen, giving you a more youthful appearance.
  5. Orgasms relieve pain (including menstrual cramps)
  6. During orgasm, your boobs get bigger.
  7. Your lips get fuller post-orgasm.
  8. Orgasms help strengthen your pelvic floor (like kegels.)

To read more detail, visit here.

Down to the nitty gritty, how many women and girls have felt like something was wrong with them because of their inability or difficulty to orgasm during sex or penetration? I know I have. Then somewhere along the way, I had conversations with my friends and learned that most of the things us women feel, is completely normal and you are not alone!

The absolute best way for a woman to get in touch with her body and learn what she enjoys enough to achieve an orgasm: Masturbation.

Let’s be mature here and normalize talking about something that is completely normal. In fact, it’s healthy. Take some time to yourself, put on something sexy, play some music, light a candle, do what you need to do, and explore your body. And, if you’re wondering or curious about purchasing a special tool to help you with that… DO IT!

I’ll even help you out and save you the awkwardness of searching for it. Also, each of these will come in completely discreet packaging so your mom or dad isn’t like, wtf?

Maybe this one?

Or this one?

Maybe something like this?

And if you’re a man reading this, and the idea has occured to purchase it for her… I repeat, DO IT!

There are so many mental health experts and therapists who recommend masturbation for women. They hope too, that we can normalize this entirely natural function without women feeling embarrassed by it. This taboo topic can bring so much good in your life; mentally and physically. It can help you understand your body better, boost your confidence, or just relax and put yourself first. Masturbation is safe, easy, and free.

If you need a little mentual stimluation to get you going, your only source does not have to be a certain p-hub. The fact of the matter is that p*ornhub targets mainly a male audience and what they will find erotic, a woman may not. Watching a woman on the verge of throwing up and mascara running just does not do it for some of us. There are a ton of safe female-oriented and women-led p*rn sites!

Rated at #1: & XConfessions (I do not need to nor do I want to link these, lol.)

I realize that you do not need organs like a uterus or vagina to be a woman. Any of these benefits and suggestions are in effect no matter your gender or sexual orintation.

So how often should I be having an orgasm?

According to experts, women should be having a minimum of 3 orgasms a week to see and feel a noticable difference in their health (mentally and physically.) Men, should be masturbating 2-4 times a week and studies have shown that men with the lowest risk of prostate cancer were ejaculating 21 times a month or more!

A Woman’s Natural Blessing: Multiple Orgasms

Oh yes, it is absolutely true. Apparently, men are capable of experiencing this too but *spaced out.* Women on the other hand, are more one after another after another after another…you get the point. Basically, there are a lot of factors that come into play for this to happen and it’s pretty rare that it will happen every single time. You need to be very aroused and factors such as diet, overall health, age, and libido seriously depend on it.

Quality vs. Quantity

What could I possibly mean by this? Well, quality is edging and quantity is multiple orgasms. Edging is basically just pushing yourself to the brink of orgasm and denying it multiple times so that when it finally happens, it’s a stronger, longer, and better single orgasm. Quantity is just having as many orgasms as you can in one session. There’s 2 types of people right?

I have tried everything – I can’t orgasm!

There are a few things you should know if you can’t orgasm. Firstly, nothing is wrong with you and there are millions of women around the world who feel the same way. In fact, 16% of women aged 18-24 have never, ever had an orgasm. There are other reasons to enjoy sex. Sex without an orgasm is not the end of the world for women! (I can’t speak on behalf of men, and surely they disagree.) Sex can be about physical and emotional connection, it can boost your self-esteem and confidence, and it still feels good. There are various reasons you may not be able to climax, and almost all of them can be fixed. A lot of women have made the common mistake of trying so hard to have an orgasm, they forget to enjoy the actual process. Mental health plays a major role in your libido and the ability to reach orgasm, especially medication(s) that may have an effect on your body. Don’t be afraid to reach out to a sex therapist or doctor – you don’t have to go IRL, that’s the beauty of the internet these days.

(Cosmopolitan – 12 Things You Need to Know if You Can’t Orgasm)

The Right Partner Will Always Understand.

Finding a partner who is committed to understanding your body and mind is not easy, but the first step is accepting and embracing your body and sexuality because once you do, you can communicate about it. You should freely be able to talk to your partner about sexual desires and feelings without feeling shamed, or embarrassed. Your sex life will improve enormously once you are both getting the satisfaction you want and deserve! Talk about what new things you want to try in bed, or what you’ve secretly always fantasized about. Having these conversations does not mean you need to do these things right away or any kind of pressure to commitment, but you will feel some sort of release just addressing your curiosity out loud.

If you feel like you struggle with not being able to orgasm during sex, tell your partner. They should be able to understand that it is not blame, and instead, you can try things that will help you achieve it because there are so many people who feel the same way as you.

Go out there and get the sexual satisfaction our human bodies deserve, want, and need!

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