This one is for the women who want to enjoy a good ride on top. But how? Porn makes us feel like unless you can do the twerk-twist-4000 – he won’t enjoy it. There are ways to ease into getting more confident and comfortable being on top and we’re gonna talk about it without judgement and stigma that you’re “bad at sex” if you can’t ride your guy. I think we can all admit that it’s a lot easier to channel your inner-cowgirl in your head than actually doing it because it’s just not as easy as it looks.
Getting Comfortable With Vulnerability
I think one of the main things that can rain on our parade when getting on top is that it’s a vulnerable position. Feeling confident will only start once you stop focusing on your body, your boobs, your face, and if you’re doing a good job. It’s okay to find yourself feeling vulnerable and intimidated about mastering the move. Push through that hyper-awareness of yourself and embrace that you are sexy and it matters that you are enjoying it too. Find your hips and get comfortable with moving them around! Get out of your head and don’t overthink the process because you are in control and you need to allow that to make you feel powerful. You’re not alone in worrying about not finding rythm or pleasure. The key is in letting your hips do the work because you’ll just tire yourself out working out your entire body and likely lose stamina.
One of the easiest ways to try getting on top ~beginner style~ is getting him to sit up. If you’re not used to being on top, having him lay down flat on his back will make it a lot trickier for you to support yourself staying upright while trying to focus on what you’re doing. When he’s sitting a little more upright, it’s much easier to have more control of things. Closeness and eye contact is sexier, and if he’s sitting up, you can kiss and remain closer to each other because it will really enhance the moment! It also helps if you put your hands on his shoulders. If you’re feeling a little self-conscious about being fully naked or exposed since his eye level is literally at your chest, wear some sexy lingerie or let your hair down. If you want to take a break or you’re feeling really anxious, go belly to belly! It’s more intimate and he can engage in the rhthym with you. Being on top is basically troubleshooting so move around and discover the spot that holds the best sensation for you.
We’ve all heard the tricks: spell your name, spell his name, spell coconut, etc. Spell whatever the heck you want as long as it’s mainly M, W, or round letters like O. No body will know if you’ve been hip-spelling “WWWWWWWWWWWWW” over and over again. Just get creative with it and do whatever feels good for the both of you. The advantage to this position is that you can engage with your partner and their sexual responses. It’s a 99% chance that he’s having a great time because having a girl on top of you, is way better than not.
As long as you can laugh about it!
The Compliment Sandwich With a Side of Honesty
You’ve tried everything and you’re pretty good at it too. But it just doesn’t feel good? That’s perfectly normal. Aside from the many good things about sex, one of them is that you can do whatever floats YOUR boat. Everyone is different, and what feels enjoyable for one woman may be the complete opposite for you. Keep in mind that sex is about giving, so if your partner desires you being on top, do it once in a while or in a way that is tolerable for you. But, being honest is what counts. You don’t need to say “I don’t like being up here.” Instead, serve him a compliment sandwich by sandwiching a comment you don’t like, between two compliments. You can say, “I love when you take me from behind, let’s do that instead.” There tends to be a stigma about girls who don’t go on top being lazy. Don’t feel guilty about not doing something you don’t enjoy. The right partner will care more about finding something you both enjoy. The whole point is having a pleasurable experience for both you and your partner and be sure to remind yourself that when you feel like you need to get out of your head.
Speaking of getting out of your head, if you’re feeling worried or insecure about what is going through his head; I can almost guarantee it’s not what you think and probably one of these.
“This is a nice break.”
Because no other position provides such great access.
“Focus…Sandwiches, Baseball, Grandma.”