Let me specify: What Women Want From You IN BED.
In order to find out what women really want, you need to ask them — so I did. I asked a bunch of women what was missing from their sex lives, what they would want more of, and their biggest issues during sex with men. Now don’t say I didn’t warn you: it’s going to get graphic and detailed. Speaking of details… that’s what sex should be about. The details are what will make or break your sexy time and it seems like everyone needs a reminder of how intricate and detailed a woman’s body is. It’s a whole process to get the movement flowing (and the movement isn’t the only thing that should be flowing.) To the women who are reading this, I hope this makes you feel like you’re not the only ones with these thoughts. To the men reading this, I hope these don’t apply to you. If you need to think about it, start taking notes anyway. I want to also point out that this is not meant to put down men in any way whatsoever, nor is it grouping every man together. Women can be just as at fault in bed because afterall, we are all human and getting to know another humans body isn’t simple. That’s why I encourage you to share your desires with your partner(s) and vice versa, so we can all be happy with satisfied sex lives.
We’re going to start off on a lighter note with one answer that was simple:
“My biggest issue is that it’s just too big sometimes.”
Okay, laugh it out and let the thoughts run their course. All jokes aside, this is an actual thing. When a woman is unaroused, the cervix is only 3-4 inches deep. So when *something* larger than that tries to barge through the corridors, it’s not a warm welcome. It can be pretty uncomfortable for women and the takeaway is that foreplay is everything! The cervix will naturally lengthen when a woman becomes aroused and therefore, problem solved!
“Most men can be selfish, and aggressive. They are so focused on themselves, that they’re not even realizing I’m in pain and sometimes to the point of bleeding.”
Is it normal to bleed during or after sex? Not really. Most of the time when bleeding occurs, it’s due to tears and friction. Leading us back to issue #1: foreplay! Of course, bleeding can occur due to inexperience, but assuming that isn’t the situation, take your time! Of course there are times that a little *aggression* never hurt nobody… but when both partners are ready for it. Men tend to forget the difference in their body size, weight, and strength compared to the more fragile human underneath them.
“There are a million issues, LOL. I think the most major one is that sometimes there is zero foreplay and it’s so uncomfortable. I feel like guys are never really aware of the girl or how she is feeling.”
I can’t say I’m surprised — foreplay, we are becoming good friends through this keyboard. Once again, consideration is everything! Having awareness, and taking a breather to check in with your partner during sex is important. There are physical signs of someone’s discomfort that you would notice quickly if you just pay attention. I feel like I should say that absolutely no woman is asking you to be weird about it by asking every 2 minutes. Pay attention to the physical signs, and if you feel the need to ask, I’m sure she will appreciate it. If anything, it’s a major turn-on when a man puts your pleasure first.
“My biggest issue is that guys get offended that I’m not ‘finishing’ within 5-10 minutes and they aren’t patient.”
I was waiting for this one! I’m sure everybody is aware of the time zone difference between men and women’s big O’s. Learning Oppurtunity: it takes approximately 20 minutes for a woman to be just fully aroused. Of course, sometimes it’s a lot faster for both of you, but don’t take it personally if you need to start thinking about sandwiches and baseball to distract yourself because she’s taking a bit longer.
“Sometimes I just want it to happen spontaneously and have him take control.”
I feel like there are obviously a lot of ways this could go wrong. So no, don’t pull her pants off from behind while she’s washing the dishes. That is not what we mean. However, a little daylight sex is always good for the soul. Make your move at the right time, and usually within that first move, you’ll know if they’re down. Body language is your friend here. Sometims planning sex, takes away all the sexiness needed. Go with your gut!